


Nerf Darts and Beachballs

by nuggetsinabox



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff and Angst, Office, Reader-Insert, Slice of Life, dork humor, two nerds fall in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-08-23 08:04:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20239504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuggetsinabox/pseuds/nuggetsinabox
Summary: You live the simple life of an internal IT worker, ironically stowed away in the basement of a mobile tech company to exist with your fellow nerds.Despite rising through the ranks and becoming Head Nerd(tm), you rarely meet any of the people upstairs unless they have a problem. You're perfectly fine with this existence until the fateful day the servers go down.That's the day you met Sans the Skeleton, and no longer are you satisfied with lurking underneath, waiting for your next chance to crawl into the elevator and enter the main office.No...From now on, you, the Head Nerd, are taking matters into your own hands.





	1. Pun Gremlin

Truth be told, offices weren't what Sans expected to be working in when they all got to the surface.

Granted, his little experience with work consisted of hot dog stands and some scientific research and machinery, so he wasn't really sure  _ what _ to expect. The thing was, though, over the phone? Nobody knew you were a monster. Private and corporate offices alike started thriving when the barrier first broke due to the number of monsters questing for a new purpose, now that their lives had been turned inside out.

As a Boss monster, Sans had been one of the first in line to cash in his gold for American currency after the legality of things got set up- so he and his brother had a nice little bundle of savings to buy themselves a home, some vehicles, and a few other things essential for eking out a hardscrabble existence on the surface. There wasn't much left over, though, since Sans had been struggling to help provide for himself and Papyrus in the first place.

When it came to money, there were a few options for monsters… but Sans had bills to pay, and he couldn't afford to be choosy. Toriel, the queen, had of course offered all the assistance she could, but Sans and Papyrus didn't feel right about just taking money off of her hands. For the first time in a  _ very _ long time, Sans had a long term goal.

He would work in this up and coming mobile tech office for a while, save up some good money, and when the papers finally,  _ finally _ got signed to allow monster technology to integrate with human society? Sans would quit this mundane crapjob and start getting to  _ real _ business.

If the skeleton monster was completely honest, however, he really didn't mind working in the office. The company was openly progressive, despite the moral issues the surface suddenly faced now that monsters were back in the picture, and had welcomed Sans with open arms and smiling faces. Plus, he got to goof off and relax between calls, which was  _ very _ nice. He wasn't really in a busy section, either. The training and teamwork aspect of the job had been hilariously entertaining, and it had boosted Sans' morale to say the least to see humans be so accepting of their walking death image.

At first, the skeleton monster had been wary, cautious- he nearly flung his co-workers into the rafters to seal their fate along with the long-deflated beach balls and forgotten Nerf darts several times when they surprised him. However, having worked at the office for several months now, he had been soothed enough to consider most of them his acquaintance. Although, that always excluded Karen. Stars, how did Karen even get this job? She was such a racist, bigoted prick. She was smart about it though; he'd give her that. Karen was always subtle enough to never get complaints, because there was no evidence and it just wouldn't be worth it. She was a two-faced bitch, and kept bringing these nasty, gluten-free cookies to every potluck that everyone avoided like a plagued rat on the table. Except for the desperate humans who had no choice due to their Celiac Disease. Those poor, poor humans- and Sans rarely felt sorry for them!

Either way- it was a typical Tuesday for Sans and the rest of his team. He and the others leaned back in their desk chairs, cracking jokes and sharing memes, two men even picking playful fights with each other about which division of the military deserved more respect, due to them both being veterans. Sans found it intriguing and relaxing, at the very least, but he couldn't help but be suspicious that he hadn't gotten a call for ages now. Come to think of it, none of his team had! He didn't want to jinx it, though, enjoying himself far too much and not wanting to ruin his chance to be lazy.

Eventually, though, somebody had to ruin the magic. Their team coach leaned against a glass panel, grinning at his underlings and raising his water bottle in a mock toast.

"Well, guys, looks like it's an easy day. The servers are down and Pittsfield is swarmed with all our customers," the coach announced, and a small ruckus of cheers erupted from the group of workers, one of them throwing a plastic Easter egg directly at Amon, the coach, who caught it and shook his finger at the offender. "However, enjoy it while it lasts. They called up the big boys from the basement, and we all know how that goes."

The cheers were quieted with a collection of groans, some of Sans's coworkers muttering about how everything great had to end. Sans, himself, didn't quite understand what this entailed, and his natural curiosity was piqued. Standing up and turning off his phone, logging off as well, seeing as it was useless, the skeleton allowed himself a moment to lazily stretch before ambling up to Amon. The human was tall and broad shouldered, sporting a gentle smile and sun-kissed skin. Sans, though, looked ironically dumpier compared to a man dressed in a giraffe onesie. This was Amon's typical Tuesday wear, completed with a magenta tulle skirt, so Sans was unphased in his blue hoodie and pink slippers.

"who's comin' up from the basement?" Sans questioned, earning a grin from Amon.

"Didn't you hear me before? The big boys. Internal IT," the human answered, taking a sizeable chug of his water. "They don't come up here too often, but between you and me? They're probably just goofing off in the server room right now."

"oh. huh. well, 'm gonna head to the shop row and get a drink," Sans yawned with his interest slightly waned, now that he understood what was going on. Amon shooed him off, and Sans shuffled out of the pod and down the hallway to head of on his quest for a drink. As progressive as the company was, they didn't permit strange magic inside of the building due to safety code and the strict laws about using it in public places. Unfortunately, that meant Sans couldn't teleport. It was always interesting to walk by pink walls, looking at the funky posters and graphics posted to them, but this time his routine walk was interrupted by a clattering and a collected row of voices cursing at whatever had fallen.

Sans perked up, poking his head around the corner of the doorway and not bothering to read which room he was peering into. It was a conference room, with a server room situated in the back. His browbones rose up when he noticed a bunch of humans standing around, scratching their heads as they watched another, significantly smaller human, fiddle with one of the boards attached to a shutdown server tower. After a few moments, a feminine growl erupted from the human kneeling on the floor, and that was the first time Sans saw you. He watched as the female on the floor let loose that overly dramatic growl, tearing off the stubborn board that everyone else was too wary to pry at, in fears that they'd break it off.

The humans gave a set of polite claps and whistles as you stood up, board in hand, and took several dramatic bows. "Let's beat the shit outta these servers!" Your statement earned a more uproariously set of cries, as well as a bit of laughter. Sans couldn't help but watch, curious, as you basked in your dramatic, artificial phrase, before getting back to business. "Okay, okay, this one seems to be the problem though, so let's focus on this and see where we stand in the next hour."

The humans around you seemed to agree and you gave one of them a shoulder pat as you scooted past, but your escape was short lived as you realised you had a witness. You eyes landed on Sans, widened just a bit in wonder, and then sparkled with curiosity all in the same few seconds. Sans, a bit wary by the reaction, leaned back and wiped at the sweat forming on his brow. He wasn't sure how well he liked the attention of some random human that, as far as he knew, lived in the basement of a phone company's office.

"Woah, dude!" You called out, signalling to Sans that his escape was forfeit and your approach was imminent. "I didn't know we had skeletons working here! That's sick!"

Sans gave you the side eye as you finally approached, standing in the doorway, but despite his wariness his signature grin was still plastered to his face. "heh, heya kiddo. yep, that's me. the sansational sans," he greeted, and your head tilted in an odd, firmly human way that he had noticed you all tended to do so often.

"So your name is Sans? That's a cool name," you stated, offering up a smile after a hot second. After commenting, you offered your own name as well as your hand.

Something about the way Sans's grin ticking upwards by the second should have clued you in to his planned mischief, but your poor, stranger soul had no idea who he was or what he had planned. So, when Sans seemed to finally relent and take his hand out of his pocket to shake yours, you startled a little bit when an obnoxious  _ 'plllbbbtbtbt'  _ met your ears. You looked down with wide, surprised eyes, as the sound vibrated against your palm. "... A whoopie cushion?!" You suddenly squawked, ripping your hand away and giving Sans and indignant, betrayed look.

Your reaction had been one of the best a human had given him so far, so he couldn't help but laugh as you looked at him like that. You paused, your indignation melting away as your little monkey brain focused on how deep and smooth his laughter was, nicely accompanying his natural voice. Oh man, you could only  _ imagine _ how some of the women- and men- acted when a voice like Sans's picked up the other line.

Whatever your excuse for gawking at the Skeleton, you forgot it as his grin and fading laughter was infectious. You let loose your own chortle, which only furthered Sans's own laughter. This led to a vicious cycle of riling each other's laughter instinct between two complete strangers. For once, meeting someone new had been a nice feeling. "Well- hehe- I guess someone told you the servers were down, huh?" You managed through the remnants of your giggles, and Sans finally sobered up and gave you a nod.

"yep. said internal IT would be goofin' off on the server room," Sans answered, earning a playful roll of your eyes.

"Of course they did! They have no clue how hard this job is," you defended your position, but yelping out in surprise as a Nerf dart whizzed right past your ear, sticking straight to Sans's smooth, pearly forehead, left you in no position to claim that your work was serious.

You gawked a bit while Sans froze at first, then your hand instinctively reached up to pry the foam dart off of him. After a moment, the skeleton monster jerked back a bit and your own hand respectively backed off once again. He clearly wasn't comfortable with such a close proximity, and you were willing to be respectful enough to not go shoving your hands in people's faces without permission.

"Oh, whoops! My bad! I was aiming for her," your coworker sold you out, and you whipped around to give him a look that promised his swift, foamy demise should you get your hands on one of those toy guns.

Sans pried the dart off by himself, giving a lazy grin and a wink at you and the offending coworker behind you. "heh, no worries. happens all the time," he chuckled, and you let out a noticeable sigh of relief. Were you expecting him to be pissed? Well, yeah. Probably. It seemed somehow extra offensive to accidentally hit the skeleton, which was prime real estate for stickage from the suction cup dart. "guess I just got a personality to stick to," he joked, and while it took you a moment to get it, your eyes rolled right up into the sky. For a second, Sans and yourself were both sure that your eyes were going to be lost in the back of your head forever.

"Ugh! He's a punny man!" You cried in outrage, and that only dug your hole deeper as Sans' face lit up with a wide smile.

Lucky for you, some sparked behind you in the server room, followed by a chorus of "woah!" And the sudden flicker of lights up ahead. For a second, all was quiet as the entire office looked up at the ceiling. Just as you were about to sigh in relief, however, the lights flickered once more and finally shut off, leading to an office-wide cacophony of chattering and complaints.

"What the hell did you do?!" You yowled, rounding on your heel and grabbing a flier from the desk in the conference room.

"It was Brayton!" One of your coworkers defended himself, while said human I'm question gasped and gives his friend a shove for selling him out.

You rolled up the flier and whacked at the human known as Brayton, and while he might have been yelling dramatically, everyone in the room knew that the paper was bouncing off of the tall human harmlessly. "What did we talk about?! I can't believe you overloaded it again!"

"It wasn't my fault this time, the current came back at the diagnostic tool! It was weird!" Brayton yowled in defense, until you finally backed off with a large huff.

"Alright, alright. Well… we're gonna have to call the city to work on the power now. Thanks a lot,  _ Brayton _ ," you replied, and all of your coworkers joined you in shaming the poor human.

At first, Sans wondered if this was real bullying, but all of you, including the accused, seemed to be smiling or grinning. After a moment of thinking, the skeleton decided not to step in and figured that this was the playful way you all treated each other. Eventually, after the ruckus died down, Brayton turned around to call someone on his cell phone while you turned and gave Sans a sheepish smile.

"Sorry," you began, nervous laughing tainting your otherwise friendly voice, "Looks like everyone's gonna get short hours today. Hope no one will miss a few…"

"eh… 's no skin off my nose," Sans said, accompanying the colloquial phrase with a wink. You had already wondered, earlier, how a skeleton somehow winked, but yet again you were distracted from thinking about it too hard.

"... But you don't have a nose," you pointed out, only causing Sans's grin to grow wider.

"that's the joke," he stated simply, leaving you to stare at him uselessly. After a moment, you covered your face in shame and let out a groan.

"Guess any form of irony will do for a pun gremlin like you, huh?" You chided, leaving Sans to suddenly choke at your statement.

"p.. pun gremlin," he wheezed out, and it was your turn to grin.

"Yeah! You know. Don't tell jokes after midnight, don't put them in water, et cetera," you said, your tone enlightened, and Sans only let out a deep snort, his laughing echoing louder in the hall now that there was no hum of electricity to accompany the everyday noises of office work.

Luckily, it was the middle of the day, so the skylights above you lit up the hallway pretty well, while the guys had flashlights in the server room behind you. You couldn't help yourself, and took a moment to admire the way the natural sunlight filtering through the skylights above made Sans's skull glitter invitingly with a hint of pearlescent white and very slight blues. The visual display, along with his deep, rumbling laughter, filled those three or so seconds with a soul-warming peace, your expression easing into a more relaxed one.

There was something about this skeleton man, you decided, and nothing was going to stop you from making yourself a new friend.


	2. Feeling Boo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's already back? And with chapter two, electric boogaloo! This one is a bit longer, and features more goofing around. The actual plot will come by eventually, but for now, enjoy!

Everyone ended up getting their hours cut.

You sighed and put your head in your hands as you sat in your dining room, the house dimly lit by one of the flickering lights above. While the fourth was dying, the other three lights on the chandelier were already out; you just hadn't bothered to replace them yet. You sat up after a moment, leaning back in your chair as your hands fell back to the table. Looking to the side, you could just barely make out the scrolling feed being displayed on the news channel on your television. You had it muted, not caring for the sound of cheap media; you just wanted to see the forecast for tomorrow, damnit.

One of your fingers tapped idly at the wooden surface they rested on, your thoughts wandering back to work once more. After your initial conversation, Sans had been approached by his team coach and told that everyone was shoving off for the day. You apologised for the inconvenience, but both men shrugged you off and waved away your useless apology. The corners of your mouth uplifted as you recalled what Sans had said.

Your internal review of the day was interrupted as you felt the vibration of your phone in your pocket. Letting out another, heavy sigh, you pulled the mobile device out and took a good look at the screen. Was it always this quiet in your house, you wondered? Your thoughts never seemed to stay in one place for long; you didn't even fully read the text messages before thinking about something completely irrelevant. Reminding yourself to focus, your eyes redirected to the phone screen as your mind returned to the present.

_ **Mark**: Hey! Heard about the power outage lmao _

_ **Mark**: Brayton again? _

The lilt returned to your smile as you let out a soft laugh, raising your brows and relaxing your posture as you replied to your brother's message.

_ **You**: yeahhhh LMAO _

_ **Mark**: Knew it. He's a goof _

_ **You**: He means well tho. _

There was a brief pause as you looked away from your phone, indicating that both of you were thinking about what to say next. You had grown up with a bitter, strong taste in your mouth that you had been determined to share with the world, but… ultimately, it was Mark who showed you the grace everyone deserves. Your older brother made sure you knew your words have consequences, and taught you to think before you spoke. Your relationship with your family was a bit complicated, but Mark was the one person you could count on to never turn his back.

He responded to the text conversation before you could.

_ **Mark**: Hey, we should meet for lunch sometime. It's been a while _

_ **You**: oh man, yeah you're right. I miss you, dumbass. _

_ **Mark**: Ouch, so rude to me. _

_ **You**: I think you'll live. Hey, I'm about to make dinner. You wanna join? _

_ **Mark**: I actually can't tonight or I woulda suggested it. U enjoy though. Love you. _

_ **You**: Love ya. thanks. Have fun being an adult or whatever _

_ **Mark**: 👈👈 _

You chuckled to yourself as you set down your phone on your table, getting up with a grunt and rubbing your hands together as you thought of what to make yourself.

… A minute passed.

And then another.

It was a solid several minutes of looking through your cupboards and your fridge before you realized there was no protein in this damn house. Letting out a quiet, dramatic wail, you rested your forehead on the fridge. What have you done?! You didn't buy anything good at the store? What did you even spend money on, then!

You head leaned back and your eyes peeled open, hands planted on the fridge for support as your gaze settled on a couple packages of ramen and cookies, discarded uselessly on the counter.

… ohhhh. Right. Well, you supposed there was no time like the present to go and pick up some take-out!

Wait. Weren't you supposed to be on a diet? You leaned away from the fridge a little bit, standing on your own two feet once again.

Your eyes narrowed and you pinched the skin of your left hand a little bit, watching the color to see if you were dehydrated or something. Could you get away with takeout? ... Seems not. You clapped your hands together and came to the conclusion that getting something premade would be a terrible idea, considering the salt and sugar content your favorite Chinese place usually hid within their savory, delicious, _ tempting _ meals…

No!

You shook your head, determined to think about your health and be a Proper Adult today. Before you left, you made yourself chug a glass of water. On your way out of the kitchen, you swept the empty wrappers from the counter and into the trash bin, puffing up your chest and muttering some nonsensical praise under your breath.

"Me me big boy… I can do this health thing. Yeah!" You crouched down a bit and, to get yourself pumped up, slapped the top of your thighs and shrieked so loudly that you heard a dog start barking somewhere.

After a moment, you giggled at your own crackhead behaviour and straightened up to head towards the door. You took a moment to shove your socked feet into a random pair of your shoes and headed outside after grabbing the keys, closing the door behind you and making sure it locked itself. You whistled energetically to yourself as you trotted down the clean hallway, counting the steps to the elevator and ignoring the fading bark of the dog you upset in the background as you moseyed along.

In the elevator, you listened to the mechanical noises and the buzz of the fluorescent lights in the otherwise quiet metal box. Your fingers drummed against your thighs, though, and you imagined your own elevator music in your mind as you descended from the fifth floor. After a moment, you started humming it aloud. By the time you reached the ground floor, your elevator music had evolved into a song complete with (terrible) beatboxing and a guitar solo that you enthusiastically chirped at the lobby janitor.

The human male looked up at you with those familiar, "done with this shitty job" eyes and you searched for the slightest twinkle of mirth in them as you held an imaginary microphone out to the man. He pretended to take it, with some trepidation, but then you _ found _ it. The look in his eyes you were waiting for, as the middle-aged human belted out some bad rap to your imaginary song, while you switched to beatboxing.

Your soul warmed and shared his glee, a laugh bubbling up from your stomach and reaching your throat when you couldn't take yourself seriously anymore. The janitor's rough, crowing laugh joined yours, which only made it funnier. The two of you shared that moment, not even knowing each others' names, but you were uplifted nonetheless.

You waved at him and went back to humming to yourself, all but skipping out of the lobby now, your already good mood amplified now that you had seen some sheer silliness in another person. The skies above were darkening with clouds that had been slowly building up since that morning, but you didn't have a care if it rained or not. In fact, it might be good for the dry earth!

Your vocalizations came to a halt as you stopped in front of the driver's side of your car, in its usual spot like always, and you pressed the unlock button on your key fob. You opened the door and slid inside, the leather seat warming your back through your thin tank-top as you shoved the key in the ignition and started up the vehicle as quickly as you could, reaching over to turn the A/C on full blast.

You yowled a bit as your fingers grasped the hot metal of the seatbelt and you were hasty in buckling it so you didn't have to touch it anymore. "Ughhh, I'm so ready for summer to take a hike," you grumbled, adjusting your hair in the mirror before flipping the visor up and out of the way.

You found your sunglasses, slid them on, then popped open the sunroof and turned down the air before you put your car into reverse and backed out of its parking space. For a while, you sat at the exit of your parking lot and flipped through radio stations until you found your favorite classic rock station and leaned back in your seat again.

Your fingers tapped on the steering wheel during your drive to the supermarket, spirits still high despite the traffic around you. Your head bounced to the classic sound you were so familiar and in love with, and at some points you sang so enthusiastically that the drivers of the cars stopped around you gave you weird looks. You weren't sure if they could hear the muffled noises of your warbling, or if they were confused by your movements within your car, but you didn't care! You were having a good time.

Eventually, you pulled up to the supermarket and parked near the middle, forcing yourself to get in some more steps for the day as you used the time it took to walk to the storefront to put on your headphones and sync the Bluetooth up with your mobile device. Today was a pretty musical day for you and you weren't about to cancel the concert in your head over a little grocery shopping. Bobbing your head like some sort of giant, humanoid bird, you grabbed a shopping cart and escaped towards the produce aisle of the market.

You glanced around and, when you thought nobody was looking, kicked off of the ground and stepped up onto the shopping cart, happy to sail on the four wheels of your cheap metal cart as far as it would take you. You put your feet onto the laminated flooring and skittered to a stop in front of the lettuce, humming a bit curiously. What could you make for dinner, anyways? You were here for some kind of protein… but you could also pick up something else you needed to for a specific meal. You couldn't put a finger on any one choice, though; your mind was still preoccupied with music and the idea of a swift, salty meal of Chinese noodles.

You patted the handle of the shopping cart, groaning to yourself a bit over your own frustration. You were leaning back a bit, precariously tipping the empty shopping cart back, so imagine your surprise when something tapped at your shoulder. Suddenly righting yourself with a squawk, your hands flew to the headphones attached to your head and pulled them down around your neck. You whipped around, facing the offender with large, curious eyes- which sparkled with wonderment as they travelled upwards and eventually landed on the face of a tall skeleton. His equally curious and kindly eye...sockets? were regarding you, now, as you stared up at him and gaped like a fish on a line.

"HELLO, HUMAN!" The tall skeleton suddenly greeted in a shrill, yet warm, voice, and you found yourself leaning back a bit as you took in the volume. "YOU APPEAR TO BE UNDER DURESS. IS THERE ANY WAY I COULD POSSIBLY ASSIST YOU?"

Your mouth suddenly closed and the dumb look on your face was replaced with a wide smile. How sweet! This stranger saw you goofing off and thought you were in trouble!

"Oh!! No, thank you! I was just trying to figure out what I wanted for dinner," you explained to the tall critter, your smile widening as his worries seemingly vanished and he responded to you with a beaming smile of his own.

"OH. I SUPPOSE THAT MAKES SENSE. I COULD STILL ASSIST YOU WITH THAT TASK!" The skeleton replied, and then continued to introduce himself. "I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AFTER ALL! MASTER CHEF AND 'FOODIE' EXTRAORDINAIRE."

Without thinking, you let go of your cart and gave your new acquaintance a dramatic, flourishing bow. "Well, Papyrus! O great chef of Ebott, I would love your help!" After you stood straight, you introduced yourself properly and with a smile, sticking out your hand and waiting for him to give it a shake.

Papyrus seemed flustered by your dramatic response, at first, but the tall skeleton swiftly recovered and grasped your hand in both of his mitten-clad palms. He gave your arm the shaking of its life, and you couldn't help but laugh a little as Papyrus greeted you with no holds barred.

"VERY WELL, HUMAN! I WILL BE HAPPY TO ASSIST YOU IN SEEKING OUT THE PROPER MEAL, HOWEVER," Papyrus paused, sobering up the teeniest bit as he looked off to the side it what seemed like fond, warm annoyance. "I MUST TRACK DOWN MY LAZY-BONES OF A BROTHER, FIRST. HE IS UNDOUBTEDLY HIDING OUT SOMEWHERE IN THE STORE."

"Oh, I could help you find him?" You offered, tickled and intrigued by the idea that Papyrus had a brother.

"YOUR ASSISTANCE MAY NOT BE NECESSARY, AS I PROBABLY KNOW WHERE HE MAY BE, BUT YOU MAY ACCOMPANY THE GREAT PAPYRUS NONETHELESS!" Papyrus answered, his expression going back to an eager, happy one.

You bobbed your head in agreement and turned off your headphones so you didn't wear the batteries down, hooking your own shopping cart with an idle hand as you followed Papyrus away from the produce section. Goodbye lettuce, you'll be back! You promised the leafy greens before turning your attention completely forward. You and Papyrus walked a short while and surprisingly, the taller, energetic creature didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"SO, HUMAN. WHAT TYPES OF FOOD DO YOU LIKE?" Papyrus eventually questioned, and you let out a small laugh. He looked confused by your response, but you quickly continued before he could get the wrong idea.

"Well, that's the tricky part," you sighed, scratching at the back of your head, "I _ want _ to eat something salty and savory- and undoubtedly really bad for me. I'm trying to make a healthy choice today, though."

Papyrus seemed satisfied with your answer, despite it having been no help at all. "WELL! I ADMIRE YOUR DECISION TO TRY AND CREATE A MEAL THAT WILL NOURISH YOUR HUMAN BODY CORRECTLY," Papyrus praised. It was the weirdest 'congrats on the diet' you'd ever heard, but it still warmed your heart anyways.

"Thanks, Papyrus!" You chirped, though you moved your attention to the aisle he was leading you down. To your surprise, you spotted your newest favorite pun gremlin down the line, surveying the condiments before him. Sans was here? Wait a minute!

"SANS! OF COURSE I FIND YOU HERE. CAN YOU NOT WAIT UNTIL WE FINISH THE REST OF OUR SHOPPING TO INDULGE YOUR BAD HABITS?" Papyrus chided the other skeleton, who turned your way with a lazy grin.

Once Sans's eyelights landed on you, you both lit up with recognition as well as your face being replete with delight. "Sans? I can't believe Papyrus is the brother you were telling me about! I should have known!" You crowed, and Sans's grin widened even further, if there ever was such a thing.

"YOU TWO HAVE MET? … AND YOU WERE SPEAKING OF ME?" Papyrus queried, a little bewildered, if not pleasantly surprised.

"'course i was, bro. you're the coolest. i gotta brag about'cha," came Sans's matter-of-fact answer.

"No wonder you bragged about him! He _ is _ super cool!" You answered with genuinity. Sans's face lit up at your admission, and Papyrus seemed pleased and mildly embarrassed at the same time. He struck a pose, the back of his scarf somehow fluttering in the non-existent wind.

"W-WELL… OF COURSE YOU TWO WOULD TALK ABOUT ME! I _ AM _ THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AFTERALL!" The tallest skeleton finally agreed, making your smile curve and your heart warm further. It was so good to see someone with such a high self-esteem.

"Of course! Anyways though… yeah! Sans and I actually work for the same company," you informed Papyrus, and he nodded and let out a small sound of recognition.

"I SEE! WELL, IN THAT CASE… HAPPY REUNION!" Papyrus beamed, and you covered your mouth a little too late; a bit of your snorted laugh wasn't muffled in time and escaped!

"heh, thanks paps. what'cha doin' hangin' out with the human anyways?" Sans spoke up, again, his expression holding nothing but high regard for his little brother.

While the two spoke, you felt your mind wandering off and tuning out the noise to be in the background. Meanwhile, your internal train of thought started chugging along. You took in the look Sans had saved for Papyrus, finding the similarities in how you undoubtedly looked at your own brother. Mark was significantly older than you, though, so the roles were basically reversed. You were sure Papyrus looked at Sans somewhat the same way, though.

You found yourself thinking about the purity behind the brotherly love Sans held for Papyrus, witnessing how the two interacted and wondering if you and Mark could even compare. It was no wonder that you looked completely zonked out as the brothers turned their attention to you. You didn't reply, much to their concern, so Papyrus waved a gloved hand in your face briefly. You shook yourself out of your stupor, blinking wildly to make up for the time you lost drying out your eyes.

"Huh?! Oh, I'm sorry! I got lost in thought. What were you saying?" You blurted, rubbing at your irritated eyes and looking up at Papyrus.

"I WAS JUST SUGGESTING TO MY BROTHER THAT YOU JOIN US FOR DINNER, SINCE YOU AREN'T SURE WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE FOR YOUR OWN," Papyrus summarized, and you found your heart skipping a beat in an odd way. He just met you, but he wanted you to come over for dinner? He was so trusting! You hoped Papyrus had the sense not to trust the wrong people, but your mind quickly backed off from that ideology and you reminded yourself that his life wasn't any of your business.

"i'm sure she's got better things to do than to hang out with a couple'a rad skeletons," Sans said, and your attention snapped to him. Why did you get the feeling that he was challenging you? Narrowing your eyes, you could just barely make out the blue-tinted sweat beginning to dot across his forehead. Wait. He looked nervous. You felt bad, suddenly, wondering if you were the cause of that.

"I don't, actually- but I would hate to impose on you and your brother," you eventually decided, guilt taking over.

"NONSENSE. I AM INVITING YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE MY FRIEND NOW, AND NEW FRIENDS HAVE SPAGHETTI DINNER TOGETHER TO GET ACQUAINTED," Papyrus insisted. How could you say no to a face and request like that?

You felt the smile from earlier tugging at the corners of your lips again, and you shot Sans an apologetic look. He seemed to catch it and shrugged, as if he wasn't bothered. You wondered if that was a façade, or perhaps he had been worried about something else, earlier. Regardless, you grinned up at Papyrus and clapped your hands together. "Spaghetti wasn't exactly what I expected, but it's way healthier than Chinese takeout, so, it's the better option!"

"THAT'S THE SPIRIT, FRIEND! NOW. LET US FINISH OUR SHOPPING SO WE CAN GO HOME AND PREPARE THE FRIENDSHIP SPAGHETTI!"

With that, Papyrus darted off and took the cart with him, leaving you and Sans by the condiments as the tallest brother rounded the corner and headed to the pasta section. Both you and Sans stared after him before sharing a glance, and you were the first to laugh. "He's an absolute treasure," you assured Sans, who was wiping at the corner of his eye socket, miming as if he had been crying.

"'course he is. he's my bro, so he's the coolest. hey… thanks for indulging him. i really appreciate it," Sans suddenly thanked you with such a heartfelt, genuine tone, you found yourself taken aback.

You stared at him for a long moment before cracking another grin, slowly moving to gently tap his upper arm with your fist. "Sure thing," you stated, but your friendly moment was cut short as Sans held his arm dramatically and groaned in pain, falling to his knees. You blinked owlishly down at the monster as he enacted his own tragedy, immediately alarmed. "Oh god- that didn't actually hurt did it?!"

"knock… knock," Sans rasped, twitching on the floor as you stared on in horror.

"What?! Now isn't the time for a joke! Are you okay??"

"please, these are my last… moments… knock knock…"

"Wh… who's there?" You answered shakily. Sans wasn't serious, was he? You had read somewhere that monsters were incredibly weak to human attacks, especially while vulnerable. Had you accidentally fucked up and killed an innocent Monster just by playing around?!

"f.. feeling," came Sans's weakened reply.

"Feeling who?!" You responded, more on edge.

Sans was quiet for a long moment, and you immediately got closer to see if he was still alive and kicking.

"feeling… _ boo!" _

You let out a warbled shriek, falling right onto your ass and scrambling backwards like some kind of fucked up crab, reflexive tears springing to your eyes. Meanwhile, Sans sat up on his knees and laughed deeply, his hands clutching at a stomach he didn't even have.

"oh… oh my stars. you're so gullible," he wheezed, and you finally realised that the joke was on you. You skittered to your feet, aggressively pointing an accusing finger at him.

"I thought I had hurt you, you bastard!" You cried, and that only fueled Sans's laughter more. You let out a growl, scrubbing at your face... and attempted to hide your laughter. "God. I can't believe you!!"

Sans finally got to his feet, scuffing his well-worn house slippers against the laminated tiles. "better get used to it, kiddo. there's a lot more where that came from."

"Sans the Skeleton, one day I _ will _ kick your ass," you said, unable to keep the humor from your voice.

"can't kick an ass that don't exist." Aforementioned skeleton only shrugged, winked, and sauntered away with all of the swagger of a successful comedian. You huffed out, glaring at his back, but… if your gullible surprise put him in a good mood, well…

You supposed it was worth it.


End file.
